When Expressing Gratitude, Don’t Focus on Yourself
Practicing
gratitude — making a deliberate point of being thankful for the
positive things in your life — is good for your happiness and
well-being. But when we express our gratitude to others, we have a
tendency to talk about ourselves when we should be thinking about them.
Often when we get help and support, we want to talk about how the favor
made us feel: “It
let me relax…” or “It makes me happy….” But expressing gratitude
shouldn’t be all about you. Helpers want to see themselves positively
and to feel understood and cared for, which is difficult for them to do
if you won’t stop talking about yourself. So the next time you thank
someone, try “other-praising” instead. Acknowledge and validate your
benefactor’s actions: “You go out of your way…” or “You’re really good
at….” Doing so will strengthen your relationship with that person.
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