Good Listeners Ask Good Questions
Some
people equate good listening with sitting silently, nodding, making eye
contact, and, when the speaker is done, paraphrasing what you heard.
But these things are only part of what makes someone feel that you heard
them. The best listeners go deeper by trying to understand the
substance of what the other person is saying. Doing this requires that
you ask questions to clarify your understanding and push the other
person to better articulate their position, examine any assumptions
they’re making, and see the issues in new light. You should also try to
empathize with and validate any emotions the speaker is conveying. Once
you’ve made sure the person feels supported, you can offer some thoughts
and ideas about the topic that could be useful to the other person.
Just be careful not to highjack the conversation so that you or your
agenda becomes the subject of the discussion.
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